Thursday, August 25, 2011

Peg Aloi is not a Bas Ass Feminist

Peg Aloi is a freelance writer who published an article in the Huffington Post entitled “Tough Gals: Do They Still Exist?”

Dear Peg.

(where to start)

First, not a fan.

Second, lemme get this straight: I can’t knit and be a feminist. I can’t like cupcakes or sitting in a garden and think that my vagina is not the point of my life. I can’t be educated and like to be pretty, too. Do I have it?

You ask know what happened to our bad-assery while making fun of the choices women have made. Maybe you didn’t get the memo: feminism is about choices.

That means that as a Riotgrrl from way back I wrote zines and played music and fought and shouted and said what I needed to say in my Third Wave way so that some idiot can come along and have her say. And have her say is that I am no longer a bad ass because I knit.

Actually, this is one of the reasons WHY I am a bad ass. I am not embarrassed by women like you. The bullies who need to put down the choices of other women, because you see them as “too girly.” I fought for the right to make choices, and I am making them. Because you don’t like the choices I am making does not make you more of a bad ass. It just makes you a Mean Girl.

And let us be very, very clear here. Being a Mean Girl in NO WAY makes you a feminist. Ever. It just makes you mean.

I am reminded of a panel I was once on consisting of Second Wave (Civil Rights Leaders) and Third Wave Feminists. I was, of course, on the side wearing Blue nail polish, Doc Martens and a BITCH t-shirt. I didn’t say much during the conversation until the end.

Many of the Second Wavers were telling us how hard they had it so we could have it easy. And they wanted to know why we didn’t understand that. They dismissed us as “not getting it” and we were living (in your words) “in a silly fantasy.” I finally spoke up.

I asked them then and I ask you now. “But isn’t that the point? Didn’t we have the fighters who created a world where I have the right to make my own choices instead of having them made for me? I was told it was my right to have choices. Now you are telling me I need to THANK you. Well, which is it? A right? Or a gift?”

Ms. Aloi, do you not see that you are doing the same thing by demanding that women not like cupcakes because it isn’t violent enough? I am not fighting a nail polish war here, just one for equality. I notice that you do not bust on the male blogs who talk about cupcakes or knitting. And they are out there. I can direct you to them if you like. No, you just bust on the women. This behavior, in case you were unaware (and I suspect you are) is SEXIST.

And then (and this is the best part) you cite women on television. You really didn’t get the memo. Most of us who are feminists don’t buy into media and the male gaze, or in your case, the female gaze of what and or who is bas ass. Because frankly, I don’t think you have ever seen an ass that is bad. I can turn around and show you mine if you want.

I want my children, both male and female, to be able to eat cupcakes, play baseball, wear sparkly nail polish, like flowers and most importantly, not be held accountable for their genitalia by women like you.

Just sayin’